Finally!

Leah has finally said Mama!! I am so excited that she has spoken the sweet word of love. Of course, she only says it when crying for me. I guess I should be thankful. Of course she's been saying Dada and Dog for over two months now.

I know that in a year or so I'll be wanting for her to forget that she ever learned my name. I now know why my mom always said she was going into the witness relocation program. I here my name way too much with Michelle and Carolyn and even Brian so another one is going to make me consider changing identities!

I love the way Leah says Mama though. Eeee, mmmmaaaa,mmmaaaa, eeeeee, bububububu,spspspspsp. Any mom knows those words, crying through the actual word.

She has started watching me leave the room or even attempt to get up and she starts crying. Talk about manipulation! She wants someone to pick her up, well I should say she wants me to pick her up. The big girls want to but Leah cries every time they do. I'm sure it has nothing to do with the bear hug they hold her with and the josteling they seem to give her as they attempt to find me wherever I am to let me know that Leah wants me. So helpful they are!!!

They still play mommy with their babies and want to be mommies when they get big but they don't like it when Leah cries, hence why they tend to bring her to me. They still have a long way to go!

It is so wonderful to see them as they grow and I am so thankful to God to provide me with this opportunity to stay home with them and I am also thankful to Brian for being willing to let me!

Does anyone hear me?

This is a story about me. I tell all the things about the funny things the girls do and say but I hardly ever talk about myself. I tend to not want to let anyone know who I am as a mother.

Someone said to me the other day, "I just love seeing your kids, they are just so carefree and laid back!" They say this as Carolyn is outside, driving her Jeep, wearing her down feather coat when it was at least 100 degrees outside. Who knows what she was wearing underneath, I do know there were clothes on though! I started thinking that maybe I let my kids do too much on their own. I mean, I hear them getting into the fridge right now, who knows what it is they are getting out. I am just tired of getting mad at them for finding things to eat all day (At least the fridge is more likely to have something healthy than the pantry) . Maybe I don't feed them enough. Actually I think it is more that they would prefer snacking all day instead of eating meals. And they do take after their dad who enjoys the same habits when he is home! (Which unfortunately he doesn't look like he does this but I do)

I digress. I let my kids dress themselves so often and I am always amazed at what they will put together. Michelle tells me that if you wear a pink shirt, you should wear pinks pants. That is how they match. She doesn't quite get the colors that match but are not the same. For her, matching means the same, not coordinating. I am proud that she "matches" so well!

I let the girls change their own channels on the TV. They know that Nick is on 253 and that most of the other channels are near there. Carolyn tends to just push buttons which, if Michelle is there, makes her mad and a scuffle ensues. I let those happen too. I mean, how many times should I interfere with a fight on wanting to be Aurora versus Cinderella. Apparently this is a major deal for the big girls. Then there may be hitting (which I try my best to stop) and arguing (which I try my best to stay out of) and then there is crying (which I wait for the tone of the cry before seeing if it is truly necessary for me to be involved in) all the while Leah is watching from the sidelines and occasionally laughing as someone cries. Why babies thinking other people crying is funny is beyond me. I guess when you cry, you make funny faces!

I found that in the past year, I have lost some of my authority. Somehow, I am not as effective as I once was. Maybe with the addition of Leah, I have less time to be on guard. I still nurse her and so I tend to not be able to keep incidents from escalating because I am stuck sitting down. Leah does not enjoy being walked around to eat and my body does not like it either. The time that I am feeding Leah, whether it is nursing or giving her baby food, thus making it hard for me to get up, is the chance the girls have to misbehave. They have a short window to get into their altercations and know that they can stand there in front of me and they have picked up that I can't do anything but yell at them.

I have to constantly tell myself that they are just learning who they are and that they are checking their position in the family, what effect they have on me, what they can get away with, etc. Man, kids are a lot smarter than I thought they would be! I am so thankful that I have belief in God because I know that I would have gone truly mental by now if I did not have Him to take care of us all.

Just like in the birth of children, I wish someone had told me what it was truly like to raise children. I know that I was a difficult child at times but my mom seemed to keep her calm every time we did something. How did she do that? Why didn't I get that from her? Why did I get my dad in so many things? Why did my dad laugh when we had our first daughter? Was I all that bad? Why did I end up with 3 girls? Am I going to pay for what I did as a teenager? There needs to be a course on how to be a mom with full disclosure on the dirt and mud that you truly go through as a mom.

I watched Oprah the other day (I promise I hardly ever watch her anymore, when do I have time except to DVR?) and she had some moms on and I was SO glad to hear that there are moms that have done things that made me laugh and helped me see that I am not alone in the "fly by the seat of my pants" kind of life you have to sometimes have to be a mom!

I'm just thankful that I am a mom, no matter how hard it is and how little they seem to do to help me sometimes. I have to remind myself that they are 5, 3, and 10 months. I can't expect them to be groomed overnight. I know that I will get better and better as a mom over time and I know that's why there are 365 days in a year! I'd hate to see what people would be like if we lived as dogs!

A Special Bond

I now understand what it means to have a sisterhood bond. Michelle has been in South Texas for almost a week and Carolyn has been pretty lonely without her. As we took Michelle and Nana to the airport, they were hugging and telling each other how much they were going to miss each other.

For the first day or two, Carolyn kept saying Michelle was on the plane still. I tried over and over to tell her that they were already in Harlingen but she knew that since we dropped her off at the airport, that must mean that she was staying there, or at least on the plane! I finally decided this was an argument that wasn't worth winning.

On Friday evening, Michelle called and talked to Carolyn on the phone. It was the cutest conversation I've ever heard!

Michelle: Hi Carolyn!
Carolyn: Hi Michelle, I miss you!
Michelle: I miss you too!
Carolyn: You're my best friend forever, I drew you some pictures and I will put them on the table and give them to you when you get home and I've been playing and our room is clean and we are at Gale's and we went swimming and we are playing.......
Michelle: Yeah our room is clean! I love you Carolyn I miss you!
Carolyn: I miss you too!

I have never known how loving they could be and how much they could miss each other. It has been so quiet without Michelle here but I know that as soon as she is home, it will be noisy again!!!

I know that Leah is still too young for this but I hope that they will all have that bond with each other like they do right now! So sweet!

Swim Time!

Okay, it is a little early for the 100+ degree days that we've been having and I am wanting to move to Alaska and join the Ice Road Truckers right now but we have managed to survive thus far. Today was only going to be around 95 so I decided I better mow today because I don't think people will be able to find our house if we wait for it to be any cooler! But that is so boring. Here's what we've been up to!

Leah went on the boat for the first time on Friday. She screamed for the first 30 minutes. Brian was a little concerned since he would live on a boat if I let him! Let me just say, the first trip with all of us was definitely a low point in our family experiences. However, at least we can't get any worse! Once Leah finally got her sea legs, oh yeah, and I nursed her, gave her dinner and nursed her again, she was great! Brian and I mutually agreed that we will not be taking her with us for awhile. She is a little too high maintenance for us!
We also had Bailey, our black lab, with us. That was fun especially since she is not fond of water but wanted to tag along. As you can see, she requires a life jacket as well!A few weeks ago we bought a little pool for the backyard that the girls could play with since we don't have a neighborhood pool anymore. The girls have had such a blast with it and Leah loves being able to crawl in the water as the girls play! Michelle and Carolyn think it's fun to try and just miss her as they go down the slide. This requires a lot of supervision of Leah since she tends to start her trek across the pool right when they are going down!We have had a very busy summer so far, we've been to the beach in South Padre, to Houston to visit Grandpa and Ginner and then various VBS's around here. Anything to keep the girls entertained for the summer! It has been fun but I'm glad to have a little quiet time at home. Ha, ha, ha. I mean, we are at home and I'm kind of getting things done. There is definitely no quiet!One more thing, this is one of my favorite new pics. Brian and Carolyn on the beach at SPI. So cute!

Michelle the Ballerina and Leah

Little Leah was dedicated at the church on Sunday. She was so beautiful! We had her wearing the same gown as Michelle and Carolyn wore when they were dedicated and also the same one that I wore along with my two girl cousins. It was a very special time. Knowing that Brian and I plan to raise her in the Lord and teach her the way of a Christian is such a special time!

Here is my big girl, Michelle at her first Ballet Recital! She was a beautiful ballerina! I was so proud of her. She had the best time getting all dolled up for both the dress rehearsal and the actual recital. She loved all the makeup, especially the lipstick! I cannot believe how different she can look with all that on! She doesn't look like the same little girl. We were so glad that she performed well, of course, anything that she did we would be proud of her! She saw something to the end and was rewarded with a performance to remember!

Now she is all excited about having a new dress up to wear around the house! She has already had to show it off to her non ballet friends! This is making Carolyn want to start ballet right now so she can be just like her big sister!

Sucess???

I feel like I was a good mom today. I got my kids to pick up the living room to an acceptable level. It was a good day that I didn't have to fight to get them to think about picking up. That I didn't have to listen to the whining about how tired (Michelle) they are or how BORING (Michelle) it is. Of course whatever Michelle does, Carolyn does too. She is like the mimic. How can someone not think for themselves yet? Oh wait, that's for when she's alone and has the strength to fight me to the death for a piece of candy.

I was a good mom today because I did not have to do the picking up myself and then threaten to take their toys away. "I am going to go get a trash bag right now and throw them all away!!" I say clenching my teeth. "Okay Mommy, thanks for cleaning up for us." says Michelle with no care for the loss of her Barbie dream house or shoes, clothes, etc.

I was a good Mom today because I turned the music on, "Turn on the rock music Mommy" they shout! It makes it more fun to clean. "Turn the timer on and let's see if we can get it finished before it beeps!" "Oh no, Mommy, start it again. We'll go faster this time!"

I was a good Mom today because I laughed while I watched my kids clean and have fun at the same time.

I was a good Mom today because I know that tomorrow is another day and God has a sense of humor.

A spiritual conversation with Carolyn

"Mommy, what does God do?" says Carolyn.

"God watches over us and protects us, sweetie."

"No Mommy, what does God DO?" insists Carolyn.

"He takes care of us and guides us and loves us." Trying to give a 3 year old an answer about God.....while driving.

"No Mommy, He builds the Ark!"

"Well, Carolyn, you are right, that He helped Noah build the ark."

"Yes, God built the Ark!"

I'm so glad that I have a daughter who is strong in her faith!