I am trying to write, have lots to say, and all I get is "I'M HUNGRY!", "WAAAAAAA", and evil laughing (Michelle, Leah, and Carolyn respectively). When did it happen? Did I ever really have it? I feel I have no power.
Now, as a Christian, I know that I really don't have power to start with, but I think I should have authority at least. Who explained to my children that they could question it?
"No, we are not having a whole Klondike bar in the middle of the day or at all. What in the world makes you think I'd say yes?" "No, stop pulling Leah's arm, Carolyn, she is breakable!" "Carolyn, did you hear me? Carolyn, I said to stop it. Do you hear her crying now?" Okay, I'm done, you get a time out." Waaaaaa, waaaaaa, waaaaaa. "Mommy, I promise I'll only eat half, will you cut it for me? I promise I won't ask for dessert after dinner." Waaaaaaa,waaaaaaa,waaaaaaa. "But MOOOOOOMMMMMMYYYYYYY, I won't eat it AAAAALLLLLLL. PPPLLLLEEEEAAASSSSSEEEEE?" Waaaaa, waaaaaa, waaaaaaaa.
Seriously, that's just what has happened since I got on the computer. All of less than five minutes to reduce my ears to pudding. I hear constant noise, constant questioning of my position as a mom. I tried the whole, threaten and then follow through. Not working well. My kids started agreeing with me. "Okay mommy, take stuff away", or "Okay, I don't want to watch TV anyway." How am I supposed to punish when they are perfectly happy with the punishment? When was the training for moms? I know my kids went to their training, most likely taught by rebellious teenagers since I am seeing signs of myself in my kids. I see dirty looks, lots of attitude, and they are 5, 3, and not even 1! They question everything that happens. I know that you should do your research but don't you think that they could trust me a little?
Of course, I have days or even hours where I feel like I have been successful as a mom. Man, I want to shout it from the rooftops then! "I was a good mom today! I did a great job!" If I could just hear that everyday, even when I'm not feeling that way.
As cute as they are, I wonder what God had in mind when he decided to give me strong children. Not just children but girls. I don't know much about the behaviors of girls since I don't feel that I was as much of one with 2 brothers in the house. There is emotion, drama, and tears everywhere I turn.
Girls are interesting. I feel sorry for Brian. He has so many things that he hasn't even begun to experience with girls and I hope he will stay once they are revealed!
