Rite of Passage

I think that every mom has their rite of passage that they must venture into before they can truly call themselves mom. Each child has their thing but each child will give the opening. For me, all three of my children have given me the same ceremonial blessing to make me feel truly like their mom. No, not the intense pain of labor or the watching them come into this world. Not even the late nights and no sleep gave me the label "MOM".

I have been vomited on. Not just spit up on. I talking, Exorcist (as everyone always seems to say, but it's true!). Michelle, definitely when she started taking formula. Carolyn, one time when I was burping her after eating and she apparently had eaten way too much. Both just one time and then it was over. Well, Leah, being the youngest, definitely wanted to make hers memorable.

Leah started off probably similar to Carolyn, I'm sure she ate too much or ate something she shouldn't have. Well, she does it once and I think, "Okay, they have all done this. No problem. It should be over now. Maybe I'll give her a few minutes to catch her breath and then she'll be good." Then again. "Okay, for sure you're done now. I've got to get cleaned up and finish dinner that is on the stove. People are waiting!" Leah and I carefully walk to the bathroom so as not to dirty anything else and take a quick bath. She seems to be all better. Brian takes her after we are done, and gets her dried and clean clothes on. She is still fussy. There is no one that she wants more than her momma right now. Brian passes her off. He is praising God in a few minutes when she does it again! So, I guess I will not be eating dinner with the family tonight. Not that anyone would want to be with us.

She was sick off and on for almost 4 hrs. I felt so bad for her. She had Pedialyte, water, and she tried to steal my cold dinner but NO WAY! It was breaking my heart as she was sick over and over but at the same time thinking, "Now I have to take another shower and I'll have a ton of cleaning to do.

Now I'm truly a mom to Leah. She has Christened me as no other child of mine can.

Off to Kindergarten!

She did it! She had her first day at Kindergarten! I wasn't sure how I would feel about it and if I would be sad once I dropped her off.

Last night we had meet the teacher and she was a little shy about it. She had come up with the idea to make her teacher a necklace, even though she didn't know who it was yet. When she gave it to her teacher, that helped her to open up a little. She also met a girl named Lauren in her class and she thought it was so cool that she now knew two Lauren's!

This morning, I had to wake her up because she was not ready to wake up! She was so ready to wear her new dress and meet the other kids in class. Hopefully she will be as motivated in a few weeks as she was today. There was no pushing to get her to brush her teeth, comb her hair, and get dressed today!

Brian and I were able to take her to school together, walk her into her classroom and make sure she knew where all to put her stuff. Brian kept trying to get me to leave right away but I wanted to soak it in a little more before we had to say goodbye. She saw her friend, Lauren, from last night and so was pretty much ready to forget who we were. I was thankful that she was so ready but sad that she was so grown up!

As Brian and I were walking out, I got nostalgic about what we've had with her so far and that she will be in school everyday for the next 13+ yrs! No more taking her to playgroups in the mornings, running errands, staying in our PJ's all day. I know I'll have the summer but it just won't be the same. Michelle is my big girl now and we will have to make some big girl memories now!

Be prepared

When you go to a Women of Faith conference, or any other faith nurturing conference for that matter, preferably one where you have spent the night away from your family and you will know that you have to be prepared for what awaits you at home.

I have just returned from a wonderful two day spiritual womens conference in Dallas. It was powerful, intense, and thought provoking. I listened to Stephen Curtis Chapman talk about his traumatic last year and was thankful for my children and the gifts that they are to me. I had a wonderful time with my friends and getting away for some ME time. I felt rejuvenated, energized and ready for anything. Then I arrive home.......

Seriously, why do I have to be punished for spending time refueling myself? I get full of God's word and the devil is right there to shoot it down. "The girls were great!" says their Nana. Wonderful I think to myself, I am so glad they were able to get along. Not five minutes after being home, the play hitting starts, then the pinching because the other doesn't like the play hitting. Then me trying calmly (because I am a changed Mom right?) to soothe the situation and try and detour then onto something else.

Obviously that doesn't work for long since there is more conflict and arguing and eventually crying. I get some breaks in the drama that is surrounding me but I made the mistake of suggesting it was time for bed. Nothing like declaring war with the kids before bed. So, I say, "Let's take a bath. Then we can pick up a little in your room since we can't walk around it anymore." What was I thinking? Why didn't I just wave the white flag right away??

Remember, I am a powerful woman now. Enriched in God's word and believing I can weather anything that comes my way, except when it comes to my kids. They know me too well. They have my number as Brian will say sometimes. Not that they get away with things but they definitely know how to draw out a battle till you're not sure who is the true victor.

Michelle has been a little emotional in recent times as I have said before. I tend to not be very tolerable of this. I grew up with two brothers and I am the oldest. "Suck it up" is often my first thought. Not the best words for what I should say. So I say, "Be strong". I am learning that the more pressure I put on her, the more she falls apart. Which frustrates me "To infinity and BEYOND!" I want her to be strong but I have so much trouble figuring out how to speak to her spirit without damaging her heart. She is so special and I want her to know that. I tell her that but she has trouble understanding what it truly means.

As I look back at my 24 hours of spiritual teaching, I realize that I have a long way to go. Moms definitely have their work cut out for them. I constantly seek stories from other moms who have experienced something somewhat close to where I am right now or where I have been. It helps me know that I am not alone in the quest for Mom of the Year". Well, at least in my kids eyes!

Make me laugh.

"Carolyn, are you ready to go to my friend's house?"
"Umm, Hmmm."
"We are going to eat dinner there."
" Are they going to have Barbies and Bratz for me and Barbies and Bratz for Michelle?"
"No, sweetie, I think you will play outside. And they only have boy stuff."
"Boy stuff, ooh gross!"

A conversation with my oldest daughter

"Mommy, how do you fall in love?", "How do you meet a boy?", "How do you know you are in love?", "Will we fight?"

GULP! I didn't think that I was going to have to answer questions like that for a little while longer. She will be 6 in less than a month and she already wants to know about love!

I tried not to laugh when she wanted to know if she would fight with her husband, who she wanted to call Dad since it's the man she knows. (Still plenty of innocence!) I did remind her that it is not fighting so much as arguing, which is what she does to me plenty of times a day.

It was such a beautiful thing though. She wanted to know if she would meet someone and why they would love her and that she would love them. It provided the opportunity to seed the thoughts for one day meeting the perfect man for her. I did need to make sure that she knew that she couldn't get married until at least after college. She seemed to agree with me and thankfully I have this blog to revert back to one day to remind her of our agreement!

It was so cute when she said that a boy from VBS said he wanted to marry her and she said she didn't want to because she didn't like what he was wearing! Ha, ha, ha!!! That was hilarious that it was his clothes alone that made her decision. She told me the little boy followed her everywhere and wanted to play with her and he talked a lot! Too funny, but at the same time, I know that this is not something I am ready to deal with. Girls like boys much faster than boys like girls.

Michelle is such a fun girl as I tell her often and boys tend to like hanging out with her. Yikes! She's into keeping up with what they like, Spiderman, Batman, etc. She knows who likes what more. I'm glad she is so good at listening to their interests as every man wants to know their women cares!

I sure hope that I made an impact on her that will last awhile because I know that the next talk is not going to be any easier!

Do I have any power?

I am trying to write, have lots to say, and all I get is "I'M HUNGRY!", "WAAAAAAA", and evil laughing (Michelle, Leah, and Carolyn respectively). When did it happen? Did I ever really have it? I feel I have no power.
Now, as a Christian, I know that I really don't have power to start with, but I think I should have authority at least. Who explained to my children that they could question it?

"No, we are not having a whole Klondike bar in the middle of the day or at all. What in the world makes you think I'd say yes?" "No, stop pulling Leah's arm, Carolyn, she is breakable!" "Carolyn, did you hear me? Carolyn, I said to stop it. Do you hear her crying now?" Okay, I'm done, you get a time out." Waaaaaa, waaaaaa, waaaaaa. "Mommy, I promise I'll only eat half, will you cut it for me? I promise I won't ask for dessert after dinner." Waaaaaaa,waaaaaaa,waaaaaaa. "But MOOOOOOMMMMMMYYYYYYY, I won't eat it AAAAALLLLLLL. PPPLLLLEEEEAAASSSSSEEEEE?" Waaaaa, waaaaaa, waaaaaaaa.

Seriously, that's just what has happened since I got on the computer. All of less than five minutes to reduce my ears to pudding. I hear constant noise, constant questioning of my position as a mom. I tried the whole, threaten and then follow through. Not working well. My kids started agreeing with me. "Okay mommy, take stuff away", or "Okay, I don't want to watch TV anyway." How am I supposed to punish when they are perfectly happy with the punishment? When was the training for moms? I know my kids went to their training, most likely taught by rebellious teenagers since I am seeing signs of myself in my kids. I see dirty looks, lots of attitude, and they are 5, 3, and not even 1! They question everything that happens. I know that you should do your research but don't you think that they could trust me a little?

Of course, I have days or even hours where I feel like I have been successful as a mom. Man, I want to shout it from the rooftops then! "I was a good mom today! I did a great job!" If I could just hear that everyday, even when I'm not feeling that way.

As cute as they are, I wonder what God had in mind when he decided to give me strong children. Not just children but girls. I don't know much about the behaviors of girls since I don't feel that I was as much of one with 2 brothers in the house. There is emotion, drama, and tears everywhere I turn.

Girls are interesting. I feel sorry for Brian. He has so many things that he hasn't even begun to experience with girls and I hope he will stay once they are revealed!

Spiritual help from a 3 year old

Brian and I were returning from our fabulous vacation celebrating our 10 year wedding anniversary that is coming up in November. We had picked up the kids from my parents in Houston, said "See you in a month!" and were on our way back home in my Expedition. We stopped for dinner at Whataburger, and started the 4 hour drive to Denton.

A little over an hour after leaving, the car breaks down. I mean, we are driving one minute and the next the car is no longer on. Completely stopped. Brian manages to pull over to the shoulder and the girls immediately ask questions.
"Mommy, what happened?", "Why did the car stop?", "Why can't we watch a movie?", "Can Daddy fix it?", "Why can't Daddy fix it?". And on and on!

Brian is staying calm about it, even though he can't figure it out. I am frustrated that I have to entertain the kids, keep them cool in the Texas heat, even though it is 6:30 in the evening. Michelle asks what is wrong with the car and I tell her I don't know and neither does Daddy. I tell her to pray to God to help us. She says "But I already prayed two times." I suggest praying some more. Of course, during this time, my faith is not really on my list of things to focus on.

A little while later, while we are evaluating all our possibilities on how to get home, get the car home, all the while keeping our sanity, Michelle tells Carolyn that she prayed three times. Carolyn says that she will pray too. I am walking to the bushes to take care of business and to take a break from the kids questions and I hear, "Praise the Lord, Praise the Lord" coming from Carolyn. Wow! What we needed to hear.