We are getting ready to go on a trip without the girls. Now, we have been on plenty of overnights and Brian and I have even gone on week long trips before, but not since we've added to the family. This is the first week long trip since Leah was born almost a year ago.
They have no idea! Shhhhhh. I'm so afraid with Michelle's sensitive mental state right now, that she is not going to be happy about us leaving and that we are taking them to Houston and that she will be going to zoo camp everyday while she's there! I know that she will love going to camp but she has been so emotional lately that I'm sure it will be an ordeal everyday. I hope and pray that it not though. Carolyn will be upset but I doubt that she will be impacted much. The same goes for Leah. As long as someone is providing the necessities then she is pretty happy.
Of course, I'm also worried that Leah is going to sprout her top teeth and learn to walk while we are gone. If she does, I don't want to know! I want to say I was first! Leah already stands from the sitting position and she pushes her little cart around all over. She has even learned how to turn it once she gets to the wall so she can go back the other way. It is so hard to be away when they are learning so many new things everyday!
It will be nice to not hear the arguments between Michelle and Carolyn on what to play and the crying when it doesn't go their way. No one to wake us up before we want to and to not have to worry about feeding all those mouths. It will be pretty quiet on vacation, just Brian and I to talk. I know that at the end of the trip I will be ready to see them and I'll actually miss all the things I'm ready to take a break from!
Brian and I are celebrating our 10 year anniversary a little early, we won't actually be married 10 yrs until November but we didn't want to worry about logistics of going during the school year and all the activities that the girls have got going on. It is such a wonderful thing that we've been together that long and believe that we will be for many more.
So, just a few more days!!!
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Finally!
Leah has finally said Mama!! I am so excited that she has spoken the sweet word of love. Of course, she only says it when crying for me. I guess I should be thankful. Of course she's been saying Dada and Dog for over two months now.
I know that in a year or so I'll be wanting for her to forget that she ever learned my name. I now know why my mom always said she was going into the witness relocation program. I here my name way too much with Michelle and Carolyn and even Brian so another one is going to make me consider changing identities!
I love the way Leah says Mama though. Eeee, mmmmaaaa,mmmaaaa, eeeeee, bububububu,spspspspsp. Any mom knows those words, crying through the actual word.
She has started watching me leave the room or even attempt to get up and she starts crying. Talk about manipulation! She wants someone to pick her up, well I should say she wants me to pick her up. The big girls want to but Leah cries every time they do. I'm sure it has nothing to do with the bear hug they hold her with and the josteling they seem to give her as they attempt to find me wherever I am to let me know that Leah wants me. So helpful they are!!!
They still play mommy with their babies and want to be mommies when they get big but they don't like it when Leah cries, hence why they tend to bring her to me. They still have a long way to go!
It is so wonderful to see them as they grow and I am so thankful to God to provide me with this opportunity to stay home with them and I am also thankful to Brian for being willing to let me!
I know that in a year or so I'll be wanting for her to forget that she ever learned my name. I now know why my mom always said she was going into the witness relocation program. I here my name way too much with Michelle and Carolyn and even Brian so another one is going to make me consider changing identities!
I love the way Leah says Mama though. Eeee, mmmmaaaa,mmmaaaa, eeeeee, bububububu,spspspspsp. Any mom knows those words, crying through the actual word.
She has started watching me leave the room or even attempt to get up and she starts crying. Talk about manipulation! She wants someone to pick her up, well I should say she wants me to pick her up. The big girls want to but Leah cries every time they do. I'm sure it has nothing to do with the bear hug they hold her with and the josteling they seem to give her as they attempt to find me wherever I am to let me know that Leah wants me. So helpful they are!!!
They still play mommy with their babies and want to be mommies when they get big but they don't like it when Leah cries, hence why they tend to bring her to me. They still have a long way to go!
It is so wonderful to see them as they grow and I am so thankful to God to provide me with this opportunity to stay home with them and I am also thankful to Brian for being willing to let me!
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Does anyone hear me?
This is a story about me. I tell all the things about the funny things the girls do and say but I hardly ever talk about myself. I tend to not want to let anyone know who I am as a mother.
Someone said to me the other day, "I just love seeing your kids, they are just so carefree and laid back!" They say this as Carolyn is outside, driving her Jeep, wearing her down feather coat when it was at least 100 degrees outside. Who knows what she was wearing underneath, I do know there were clothes on though! I started thinking that maybe I let my kids do too much on their own. I mean, I hear them getting into the fridge right now, who knows what it is they are getting out. I am just tired of getting mad at them for finding things to eat all day (At least the fridge is more likely to have something healthy than the pantry) . Maybe I don't feed them enough. Actually I think it is more that they would prefer snacking all day instead of eating meals. And they do take after their dad who enjoys the same habits when he is home! (Which unfortunately he doesn't look like he does this but I do)
I digress. I let my kids dress themselves so often and I am always amazed at what they will put together. Michelle tells me that if you wear a pink shirt, you should wear pinks pants. That is how they match. She doesn't quite get the colors that match but are not the same. For her, matching means the same, not coordinating. I am proud that she "matches" so well!
I let the girls change their own channels on the TV. They know that Nick is on 253 and that most of the other channels are near there. Carolyn tends to just push buttons which, if Michelle is there, makes her mad and a scuffle ensues. I let those happen too. I mean, how many times should I interfere with a fight on wanting to be Aurora versus Cinderella. Apparently this is a major deal for the big girls. Then there may be hitting (which I try my best to stop) and arguing (which I try my best to stay out of) and then there is crying (which I wait for the tone of the cry before seeing if it is truly necessary for me to be involved in) all the while Leah is watching from the sidelines and occasionally laughing as someone cries. Why babies thinking other people crying is funny is beyond me. I guess when you cry, you make funny faces!
I found that in the past year, I have lost some of my authority. Somehow, I am not as effective as I once was. Maybe with the addition of Leah, I have less time to be on guard. I still nurse her and so I tend to not be able to keep incidents from escalating because I am stuck sitting down. Leah does not enjoy being walked around to eat and my body does not like it either. The time that I am feeding Leah, whether it is nursing or giving her baby food, thus making it hard for me to get up, is the chance the girls have to misbehave. They have a short window to get into their altercations and know that they can stand there in front of me and they have picked up that I can't do anything but yell at them.
I have to constantly tell myself that they are just learning who they are and that they are checking their position in the family, what effect they have on me, what they can get away with, etc. Man, kids are a lot smarter than I thought they would be! I am so thankful that I have belief in God because I know that I would have gone truly mental by now if I did not have Him to take care of us all.
Just like in the birth of children, I wish someone had told me what it was truly like to raise children. I know that I was a difficult child at times but my mom seemed to keep her calm every time we did something. How did she do that? Why didn't I get that from her? Why did I get my dad in so many things? Why did my dad laugh when we had our first daughter? Was I all that bad? Why did I end up with 3 girls? Am I going to pay for what I did as a teenager? There needs to be a course on how to be a mom with full disclosure on the dirt and mud that you truly go through as a mom.
I watched Oprah the other day (I promise I hardly ever watch her anymore, when do I have time except to DVR?) and she had some moms on and I was SO glad to hear that there are moms that have done things that made me laugh and helped me see that I am not alone in the "fly by the seat of my pants" kind of life you have to sometimes have to be a mom!
I'm just thankful that I am a mom, no matter how hard it is and how little they seem to do to help me sometimes. I have to remind myself that they are 5, 3, and 10 months. I can't expect them to be groomed overnight. I know that I will get better and better as a mom over time and I know that's why there are 365 days in a year! I'd hate to see what people would be like if we lived as dogs!
Someone said to me the other day, "I just love seeing your kids, they are just so carefree and laid back!" They say this as Carolyn is outside, driving her Jeep, wearing her down feather coat when it was at least 100 degrees outside. Who knows what she was wearing underneath, I do know there were clothes on though! I started thinking that maybe I let my kids do too much on their own. I mean, I hear them getting into the fridge right now, who knows what it is they are getting out. I am just tired of getting mad at them for finding things to eat all day (At least the fridge is more likely to have something healthy than the pantry) . Maybe I don't feed them enough. Actually I think it is more that they would prefer snacking all day instead of eating meals. And they do take after their dad who enjoys the same habits when he is home! (Which unfortunately he doesn't look like he does this but I do)
I digress. I let my kids dress themselves so often and I am always amazed at what they will put together. Michelle tells me that if you wear a pink shirt, you should wear pinks pants. That is how they match. She doesn't quite get the colors that match but are not the same. For her, matching means the same, not coordinating. I am proud that she "matches" so well!
I let the girls change their own channels on the TV. They know that Nick is on 253 and that most of the other channels are near there. Carolyn tends to just push buttons which, if Michelle is there, makes her mad and a scuffle ensues. I let those happen too. I mean, how many times should I interfere with a fight on wanting to be Aurora versus Cinderella. Apparently this is a major deal for the big girls. Then there may be hitting (which I try my best to stop) and arguing (which I try my best to stay out of) and then there is crying (which I wait for the tone of the cry before seeing if it is truly necessary for me to be involved in) all the while Leah is watching from the sidelines and occasionally laughing as someone cries. Why babies thinking other people crying is funny is beyond me. I guess when you cry, you make funny faces!
I found that in the past year, I have lost some of my authority. Somehow, I am not as effective as I once was. Maybe with the addition of Leah, I have less time to be on guard. I still nurse her and so I tend to not be able to keep incidents from escalating because I am stuck sitting down. Leah does not enjoy being walked around to eat and my body does not like it either. The time that I am feeding Leah, whether it is nursing or giving her baby food, thus making it hard for me to get up, is the chance the girls have to misbehave. They have a short window to get into their altercations and know that they can stand there in front of me and they have picked up that I can't do anything but yell at them.
I have to constantly tell myself that they are just learning who they are and that they are checking their position in the family, what effect they have on me, what they can get away with, etc. Man, kids are a lot smarter than I thought they would be! I am so thankful that I have belief in God because I know that I would have gone truly mental by now if I did not have Him to take care of us all.
Just like in the birth of children, I wish someone had told me what it was truly like to raise children. I know that I was a difficult child at times but my mom seemed to keep her calm every time we did something. How did she do that? Why didn't I get that from her? Why did I get my dad in so many things? Why did my dad laugh when we had our first daughter? Was I all that bad? Why did I end up with 3 girls? Am I going to pay for what I did as a teenager? There needs to be a course on how to be a mom with full disclosure on the dirt and mud that you truly go through as a mom.
I watched Oprah the other day (I promise I hardly ever watch her anymore, when do I have time except to DVR?) and she had some moms on and I was SO glad to hear that there are moms that have done things that made me laugh and helped me see that I am not alone in the "fly by the seat of my pants" kind of life you have to sometimes have to be a mom!
I'm just thankful that I am a mom, no matter how hard it is and how little they seem to do to help me sometimes. I have to remind myself that they are 5, 3, and 10 months. I can't expect them to be groomed overnight. I know that I will get better and better as a mom over time and I know that's why there are 365 days in a year! I'd hate to see what people would be like if we lived as dogs!
Monday, July 6, 2009
A Special Bond
I now understand what it means to have a sisterhood bond. Michelle has been in South Texas for almost a week and Carolyn has been pretty lonely without her. As we took Michelle and Nana to the airport, they were hugging and telling each other how much they were going to miss each other.
For the first day or two, Carolyn kept saying Michelle was on the plane still. I tried over and over to tell her that they were already in Harlingen but she knew that since we dropped her off at the airport, that must mean that she was staying there, or at least on the plane! I finally decided this was an argument that wasn't worth winning.
On Friday evening, Michelle called and talked to Carolyn on the phone. It was the cutest conversation I've ever heard!
Michelle: Hi Carolyn!
Carolyn: Hi Michelle, I miss you!
Michelle: I miss you too!
Carolyn: You're my best friend forever, I drew you some pictures and I will put them on the table and give them to you when you get home and I've been playing and our room is clean and we are at Gale's and we went swimming and we are playing.......
Michelle: Yeah our room is clean! I love you Carolyn I miss you!
Carolyn: I miss you too!
I have never known how loving they could be and how much they could miss each other. It has been so quiet without Michelle here but I know that as soon as she is home, it will be noisy again!!!
I know that Leah is still too young for this but I hope that they will all have that bond with each other like they do right now! So sweet!
For the first day or two, Carolyn kept saying Michelle was on the plane still. I tried over and over to tell her that they were already in Harlingen but she knew that since we dropped her off at the airport, that must mean that she was staying there, or at least on the plane! I finally decided this was an argument that wasn't worth winning.
On Friday evening, Michelle called and talked to Carolyn on the phone. It was the cutest conversation I've ever heard!
Michelle: Hi Carolyn!
Carolyn: Hi Michelle, I miss you!
Michelle: I miss you too!
Carolyn: You're my best friend forever, I drew you some pictures and I will put them on the table and give them to you when you get home and I've been playing and our room is clean and we are at Gale's and we went swimming and we are playing.......
Michelle: Yeah our room is clean! I love you Carolyn I miss you!
Carolyn: I miss you too!
I have never known how loving they could be and how much they could miss each other. It has been so quiet without Michelle here but I know that as soon as she is home, it will be noisy again!!!
I know that Leah is still too young for this but I hope that they will all have that bond with each other like they do right now! So sweet!
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