I have told this story so many times since it happened the other day and I know that I will never forget it. It truly pulls at my heartstrings and lets me know I am doing a good job.
Michelle was bossing Carolyn around the other day and it was making Carolyn very mad (this is an ongoing, everyday kind of thing). I finally decided they were not going to be able to work it out without my assistance and I approach them. I tell Michelle to stop telling Carolyn what to do and she immediately runs out the back door ( I should say that we were right at the door so it wasn't as dramatic as all that!). I follow her out and call her to come to me. She cowers as she takes a few steps, then some more, and then some more. This has given me a moment to take a breath and look at the situation from a calm mommy place. Then, trying to be a good mom, I kneel in front of her and ask her why she thinks that she should be telling Carolyn what to do and how to do things (I have no idea what she was telling Carolyn to do, as I said, this happens everyday!). She starts to cry and I am trying to get her to focus and not get out of her punishment by crying. She says to me in between sobs " I just want to be a mommy so bad and it's so hard for me to just be a kid sometimes."
Well, how do I punish that? I am so glad that she has this desire but after a second of letting that soak in, I tell her that she does not need to grow up so fast and that she should enjoy being a kid and having fun as kid and then someday I pray she will get to be a mommy.
My kids can make me feel so good and so bad at being a mom. They can be so appreciative of me and then the next minute want me to go away. It is such a rollercoaster but I am so thankful to be on it. The fact that my daughter wants to be like me someday is the best compliment that I can ever get. I pray for the Lord to continue to be in me so that I can share His love with my family.
