Crying in the car

All I have to do is let you read the lyrics of this song I heard on my way to pick the girls up from school today and you'll know why I was crying......

Darius Rucker
It Won't Be Like This For Long

He didn't have to wake up
He'd been up all night
Lying there in bed and listening
To his newborn baby cry
He makes a pot of coffee
He splashes water on his face
His wife gives him a kiss and says,
"It's gonna be okay"

"It won't be like this for long
One day we'll look back laughing
At the week we brought her home
This phase is gonna fly by
So baby, just hold on
It won't be like this for long"

Four years later, 'bout 4:30
She's crawling in their bed
And when he drops her off at pre-school
She's clinging to his leg
The teacher peels her off of him
He says, "What can I do?"
She says, "Now, don't you worry
This'll only last a week or two"

"It won't be like this for long
One day soon you'll drop her off
And she won't even know you're gone
This phase is gonna fly by
If you can just hold on
It won't be like this for long"

Someday soon she'll be a teenager
And at times, he'll think she hates him
And he'll walk her down the aisle
And raise her veil,
But right now she's up and cryin'
And the truth is that he don't mind
As he kisses her goodnight
And she says her prayers

He lays down there beside her
Till her eyes are finally closed
And just watching her it breaks his heart
'Cause he already knows

It won't be like this for long
One day soon that little girl is gonna be
All grown up and gone
And this phase is gonna fly by
So he's trying to hold on
It won't be like this for long
It won't be like this for long

This song is so beautiful. I think about my girls and I was definitely having a few days where I was wanting this time to pass but after hearing that song and now reading the lyrics again, I am going to cherish every minute I have with them because no matter how many kids I have, I will only have those moments with each of them once.

I want to be you!

I have told this story so many times since it happened the other day and I know that I will never forget it. It truly pulls at my heartstrings and lets me know I am doing a good job.

Michelle was bossing Carolyn around the other day and it was making Carolyn very mad (this is an ongoing, everyday kind of thing). I finally decided they were not going to be able to work it out without my assistance and I approach them. I tell Michelle to stop telling Carolyn what to do and she immediately runs out the back door ( I should say that we were right at the door so it wasn't as dramatic as all that!). I follow her out and call her to come to me. She cowers as she takes a few steps, then some more, and then some more. This has given me a moment to take a breath and look at the situation from a calm mommy place. Then, trying to be a good mom, I kneel in front of her and ask her why she thinks that she should be telling Carolyn what to do and how to do things (I have no idea what she was telling Carolyn to do, as I said, this happens everyday!). She starts to cry and I am trying to get her to focus and not get out of her punishment by crying. She says to me in between sobs " I just want to be a mommy so bad and it's so hard for me to just be a kid sometimes."

Well, how do I punish that? I am so glad that she has this desire but after a second of letting that soak in, I tell her that she does not need to grow up so fast and that she should enjoy being a kid and having fun as kid and then someday I pray she will get to be a mommy.

My kids can make me feel so good and so bad at being a mom. They can be so appreciative of me and then the next minute want me to go away. It is such a rollercoaster but I am so thankful to be on it. The fact that my daughter wants to be like me someday is the best compliment that I can ever get. I pray for the Lord to continue to be in me so that I can share His love with my family.

Michelle and the earrings

She has done it! Michelle got her ears pierced on Monday. She has asked me for months and I have said, maybe this week for every time she asked. I finally decided that after her ballet class we would go to the mall and just get it done. Not that I was fearful for her or that she wasn't ready had I put it off. My own mother did not let me join this club until well into high school. She apparently thought I was too irresponsible before then. Not sure what changed her mind. Anyway, I was determined not to let my children wait until then to get them done but I also didn't want to do that to my infants. It pains me to think of doing that to my babies! The PKU test on their heal is bad enough!
So, we get to Claire's in the mall and I tell Michelle what we are doing there. All of a sudden she is freaked! She doesn't want to do it. So, I have to take baby steps, first have her just look at the choices for earrings, then once she has those picked out, look at all the choices for later, once they have healed. Then, after she was certain to back out, I offered her a present for being so brave, whatever she wanted in the store, after she got the ears done.
We had to wait for someone else which added to the aprehension. Then she wanted to sit in my lap on the stool. Carolyn is begging to get hers done as well but I'm somewhat realizing why my mom waited with me, Carolyn definitely isn't responsible! Leah starts to get fussy and I'm trying to rock her stroller, watch Carolyn to make sure she doesn't steal anything from the store as she is putting stuff into a bag, and hold Michelle's hands, which she insists on doing.
What am I thinking! I apparently got the idea that I am Super Mom and I can handle all of this with little trouble. The lady says she will count to 3 and then punch the earring. Michelle tightens her grip and the first ear is done. Ten to fifteen minutes later, the 2nd is done. I have never persuaded like I persuaded in those minutes in between piercings. I should have made the lady find someone else to help her out and have them do it at the same time. Michelle was begging for the lady to not do the other one, hiding her ear and crying HUGE tears. We are at the entrance of the store and I look like I am forcing my child. I'm sure that CPS is coming at any moment. Then we remind her of the cool nail polish that she has picked out for her prize and she tells the lady to count to 6. The lady says, 1,2,3 pop! Michelle cries again but only for a minute. FINALLY! It is over. Carolyn is almost falling apart because she wants it to be her turn. I think she could handle the pain but I know she would take the earrings out in a second.
Michelle has been cracking me up ever since. She tells everyone that it didn't really hurt and can't wait to get new earrings. She has been so great about cleaning them several times a day as well as spinning them. I am so proud of her and will always have this great memory!!!